Imagine that, at this moment, you got everything you want. You are as financially stable as you desire. Your personal relationships resolve themselves so as to be exactly as you hoped. You gain the possessions you wished for; you become proficient in abilities you've always wanted to be good at, but never practiced. The question is this: Do you think you would be happier? Or do you think you would find new things to hate?
Think about it for a while, and then I'll take you through my trains of thought when I initially read this question:
Train 1 (<1 millisecond after reading): Of course I would be happier. What kind of stupid ques--
Train 2 (Immediately after Train 1): Wait a minute. That second question at the end changes things. Surely I would find new things to hate. But would this mean I would be less happy?
A.) If I were to accomplish everything I want in an instant, then that would degrade their significance. A lot of what makes achieving your goals satisfying is the process by which you achieve them, so when you look back at the time you've invested, you feel proud. From that perspective, this scenario would decrease my happiness.
B.) I know for a fact that money doesn't equate to being happy. Instant money not only doesn't help, but actually makes things a lot worse. Scientific studies show that lottery winners are consistently less happy than non-winners. Here are 12 heartbreaking stories about lottery winners. One thing most have in common: Every winner ends up losing all of their money within 10 years. Another thing: Suicide attempts/murder are persistent themes. Perhaps financial security is a different matter, though.
C.) Out of everything the scenario gives me, improvement of my personal relationships seems most likely to increase my personal happiness. But would it? If my friends and family changed in the way I want them to, they wouldn't be the same people anymore. In effect, I am taking away some aspect of their individuality. I don't think I'd be okay with doing this -- however much I want my relationships to play out, the onus to change is as much on me as it is the other person.
Train 3 (A few minutes after Train 2): Am I maybe overthinking this?
I'm still not sure what the answer to this question is, but I think it points to a crucial element to life: It's really complicated. We often attach our own well-being to material objects or social desires -- "If I had that car" or "If I were more witty among peers" or "If I could just get that guy to turn his damned cell phone off" -- but it's often not that simple. (Well, maybe the cell phone one really is that simple.) The point is, being happy is not dependent on having or doing things. It's a state of mind, a conscious decision. Similarly, we often attach our bad mood to events or objects that we shouldn't. We give them power over us.
Stop doing that. Reevaluate your goals, and be happy.
-Me
No comments:
Post a Comment