Saturday, October 20, 2018

Lyrics: Another Standard Braggadocio


Au, my raps are nothin’ but gold, never grow old, I’m so bold and stone cold, I’m noble, Simone knows I’m glo-bal, but no bull, foes choke on the mojo of this flow as I grow mold on fomo and go toe ‘ to toe with mofos whose low blows are so toast they mope home in boatfulls, boastfuls and moguls all hopeful to postpone my coro-nation, but I’m not patient, I’m the seven sins, accost a mosque and turn the imam Rastafarian, “mom, I musta lost a cardigan cuz it’s cold up in --”, oh wait, that's great, it's just my bars again, my heart must be a bargain bin cuz it’s got hidden treasures and bobby pins, I been all up in this life like it’s a dollar bill and I’m George Washington, walk a mile down the Nile in a pile of stylin’ moccasins, sky high in single file like angels posturin’ for my right to go thrive, why die when my pipes are still ripe? I’ll survive to recite the last digit of pi and still find enough time to refine Kant’s transcendental aesthetic, oriental ascetic flaunting his continental magnetic elemental kinetic monumental pyretic energy, I’m an experimental phonetic fundamental poetic entity, so mental schizophrenics are into me, it’s theoretically right to say I’m antithetic to life like entropy.

When you’re honest with me you’re speaking truth to power, lines so filthy need a booth to shower, I’ll devour a mound of rowdy doubters, spit a mouthful of white boys out in a Saudi bouncy house call it the iv’ry tower, when the mounting sound of their dour cow'ring gets foul, I’ll wow them, loudly regale them with a tale of how I found out the Sahara’s pale cuz I started a drought south of an Italian mountain, shout out to those louts who lousily spout when I tout my clout, yet bow down when I endow them with accounts of bein’ en route to knock out Ronda Rousey, Faust has got nothin’ on me cuz Lucifer’s my bitch, dork, bring forth his pitchfork to scratch an itch more, like poison ivy, can only be this fire if you plagiarise me, so revel in these iron rhymes I’m finding or I’ll kindly bind you to a pyre, my tight rhymes feel so right, desirous, final judge like Osiris, or ' Walter White with a bunch o’ ricin, my violent punchlines’ll crunch right at the hunched spine of young Mike Tyson and vaporize him, slice and dice him ‘till he’s an icy poltergeist so Ghostbusters'll bring a Dyson to exorcise him

I’m so frightening I’m like the might o’ Thor when he ‘ gets bored and spites the night with a bolt of lightning, make ‘em jolt like a colt that’s writhing, writing so bright and blinding I’ll ignite the entire Rhine, I’m so enlightening made Bill Nye question science, I’m what Barack was to Biden, so inspirin’ and righteous Christ tithes to me so I’ll provide him guidance, so you better abide and take my side or the ' tide’ll rise up and smite your tiny soul faster than a shoal of North Korean gener’als would boast after they roast the coast of Seoul, get emotional, cuz I fill you up call me the Holy Ghost, you think I’m mostly joking but I’m low-key focused, post up on a whole host of broken homes, folks call me James Earl Jones cuz I am your daddy, Tiger Woods’ my golfing caddy.




Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Lyrics: Self deprecating rap

Recording

My vision’s so bad it’s two pixels thick, oh wait no that’s the size of my dick. Ever seen a chick run away from a Wei so quick? Straight disappearin’ like a magic trick.
No I’m bein’ real, I got no game, paraplegics shun me cuz I’m too lame. My claim to fame? I got nothin’ to offer, flame in my belly’s like tepid water, committed to fatherhood then abandoned my daughter, parental absence like Harry Potter.
I’m less friendly than the Whomping WIllow, last date I went on was with a body pillow, cuddled up close but I got rejected, always do worse than what’s expected.

Decisions are needed? I’ll be hesitating. if I was a law they’d be abrogating. Tried to man up, started menstruating. Title of this song “Self Deprecating”.

Want to see me quit? You got your wish. I got less spine than a jellyfish. Jumped into the sea, sea spit me out. Poseidon’s like, “Who let this man into my house? I didn’t sign a waiver. Even Mr. Rogers wouldn’t be your neighbor.”
Reached for my backbone, found nothin’ there. If cowardice was cash I’d be a billionaire, if bravery’s silent call me Times Square, or Alpha Centauri cuz I’m full of hot air, and laissez-faire is my worst nightmare cuz the only seat for my derrière is also known as the electric chair.

My reflexes are nothing but vegetative, tried to be cool and self-immolated, flow’s not sick but you’re nauseated, just bein’ real when I self-deprecate it.

“Bag your face, there's something wrong.” Heard that from my doctor, and my mom. Walked up to a mirror, my reflection ran, didn’t stop till it was in Turkmenistan. Go down the street showing my face, and even the blind run like The Amazing Race.
When I leave the club all the people cheering, cuz I’m more of a farce than a supreme court hearing. You heard it right, I’m a total sham. Drywall’s as exciting as my Instagram. Cuz I’m as lively as ‘ a stillborn fetus, when an atheist sees me they turn to Jesus.

I don’t knowing how to conjugate, got no deadline but I’m still late, gene pool’s thankful when I masturbate, just bein’ honest when I self-deprecate.