A boy named Ted lives in Thneedville, where everything is artificial because all the truffala trees (read: trees) have been cut down. He likes a girl named Audrey, who has heard of trees before and really wants to see one. Wanting his relationship with Audrey to progress to the Next Level, Ted decides to go get a tree. (This is his only motivation to get trees, ever).
Ted's opponent is the insidious Mr. O'Hare, who is so evil he actually sells air to people. It's in O'Hare's interest to keep trees away from Thneedville because trees provide clean, fresh air which just won't gel with his plans of making more money. O'Hare prefers to keep the air polluted so people will buy his air. This is one of the most over-the-top caricatures of corporatism and anti-environmentalism I've ever seen. It's a laughable character. But O'Hare does have one scene-stealing moment (more on that in a bit).
In a development that surprised precisely zero people, Ted succeeds in obtaining a truffala seed from some guy with the unfortunate name of "The Once-ler" who tells him to plant it in the middle of the city. (Why the Once-ler didn't just plant it himself, I have no idea). He rallies the city behind him and they sing a song about it:
My favorite part of the song -- of the whole movie, actually -- comes at 1:30, where the villainous O'Hare sings a solo:
My name's O'Hare, I'm one of you
I live here in Thneedville toooo
The things you say just might be true
It could be time to start anew
And maybe change my point of viewww
(beat)
Nah! I say let it die!
Then, in a moment that made me actually laugh out loud, the guy starts singing "Let it die, let it die" while dancing and clapping. The music cuts out and it's just him, goin' crazy a cappella. At the end of his impassioned, impromptu solo, he asks, "C'mon, who's with me?" with a big smile on his face. Of course, it fails miserably.
The reason this was so funny is because my mind conceived of a scenario in which O'Hare actually changed everyone's mind. Imagine: After several bars of "Let it Grow", O'Hare sings his solo, starts dancing, clapping -- then people start nodding to the beat, the music cuts back in, and everyone's jumping around, dancing, clapping joining him, singing "Let it Die". Cut to Ted standing in utter disbelief as the people rally around O'Hare and raise him up. Everything returns to normal and Ted still doesn't have a girlfriend.
This idea was so funny to me that I composed the song Let it Die for the fun of it. For best results, read the lyrics while watching the video above so you get the tune.
You don't know me but my name's Vee
I just teach Thneedville history
And we're only here cuz there's no trees
So I say let it die
My name's Ben, and my name's Dirk
We think the Lorax is a jerk
And those dumb trees will never work
So we say let it die
Let it die, let it die
Trees will make the children cry
Plant a seed inside the earth
It's not a blessing, it's a curse
Let's celebrate O'Hare's rebirth
We say let it die
My name's Sal and I am three!
I really like artificial trees
They come prepackaged with batteries
I say let it die
I'm grandpa Dan, I'm old, I have grey hair
I remember when trees were everywhere
My allergy raised the price of my healthcare
So I say, let it die!
Let it die, let it die
Trees will cut your knees and thighs
Maybe it's just one tiny seed
But trees' bark will make you bleed
Let's never change the life we lead
We say let it die
My name's Ted, I'm one of you
I live here in Thneedville toooooo
The things you say are just not true
It must be time to start anew
We have to change our point of viewww
So I say let it grow
Let it grow, let it grow
You can't reap what you don't --
C'mon, who's with me?
Nobody!
Youuu greedy dirtbag!
Let it die, let it die
To truffalas, we say goodbye
Plant artificial trees inside the Earth
We'll always know those trees' market worth!
Let's celebrate those truffalas' dearth
We say let it die
We say let it die
Let it die, let it die
There's lots of air for us to buy!
It's just one tiny seed
But it has the capacity
To destroy this city's economy
Kill our jobs and society
O'Hare's air is nearly free
We say let it die
I had additional lines for lobbyists, economists, and biologists but there's no room in the original song for them. Oh well.
-Me
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