Gluttony Poems

Gluttony

My name is Gluttony.

I come to call in cozy cages: Corona caps and cooler cases, coffee cups co-caffeinated, colons
cold, capitulated, cola cans all carbonated, and coroners’ complacent faces will all find my
forge's light.
You say you seek a second serving? So right you are, and so deserving! Sugar? Sandwiches?
Hors d’oeuvres? Some seats in a steakhouse reserved? Speak not of sin, you’re self-preserving,
simple sage sucrose-preserving, and should you find your figure curving you’ll soon
disgorge tonight.
I’ll pass a plate of perfect pastries, plans of pies to peckish parry, pickled plums and pools of
dairy, pans prepped as plateaus and prairies, packing painful pulmonaries, politely pass
preliminaries till they've lost the will to fight.
I manifest as phantom itches, fickle feelings, fearsome twitches, fomenting fast in foreign
pitches, frosting, French fries, fun-filled dishes, fear not these fully forthright wishes, for a
fantastic feast from yeast and fishes has been condoned by Christ.

Of those who have athletic talents, I’m particularly fond.
For they’re the ones who eat by gallons, and perhaps beyond.
Of those who star in beauty pageants, I’m a little bit less keen.
Why starve yourself and be so gallant? Try some Dairy Queen.
I love the sound of moving bowels and the sight of double-chins,
The scrawny and the weak are foul, but obesity’s a win.
Dieting’s so Sisyphean, a total waste of time.
Why a state of sadness be in? Joy is not a crime.

You’ve had enough? That can’t be right!
Try to make some room;
For if you think you’re satisfied
You’ll find an early tomb.
I don’t mean to overbear,
But you’re feeling kind of light
So if you well and truly care
You should take another bite.

Now you see? That wasn’t bad. Have some extra now and then!
Go on then, have another. And another.

And again.


 
Gluttony 2

My cousin Greed is full of charm, but they’re in the penthouse suite.
I embrace the poor with open arms – the starved all love to eat!
With Wrath you’ll sooner come to harm – perhaps you shouldn’t meet;
I don’t mean for you to be alarmed, but they’d kill you for a tweet.

Lust is such a lovely face, with body greater still,
But with all that allure and grace, you’d never have your fill.
Sloth is perhaps my fav’rite case – they’re really pretty chill.
But if you’re too slow to eat that cake, believe me, someone will.

Pride talks so much you’d be aghast, so very unamused;
Try to leave them in the past, or ask to be excused.
And Envy’s wants are changing fast, you’d only get confused –
Just ignore them and relax, here – have some comfort food.