On Weddings

I attended a wedding recently. Here are my thoughts on the occasion.

Weddings are an amalgamation of many things I dislike. For one, they are an iconic example of social exhibitionism, wherein the dearly beloved are compelled to demonstrate their commitment and intimacy in front of a crowd. Having to show your love in front of an audience feels inauthentic: If a couple's dedication to one another is truly lifelong, then they wouldn't have to hold a ceremony to prove it. In fact, holding such a ceremony actually dilutes the source of this dedication, in the same way a person who constantly says "believe me" dilutes his own trustworthiness. If something is authentic, you shouldn't need a special day to tell all your loved ones about it. It should speak for itself.

Weddings are also beholden to many formulaic traditions I find distasteful. There have to be a certain number of hierarchically-ordered bridesmaids and groomsmen, the top ranks for each being "maid of honor" and "best man", respectively, and these Chosen Ones must each deliver a toast. There has to be a cake, which has to be cut by the newlyweds in tandem, but only after they've danced to exactly one carefully preselected song. Particularly offensive to me is that the father of the bride has to walk the bride down the aisle, because it suggests that a woman is a male possession, and that a wedding is a transfer of property. These traditions trap weddings in antiquated times and make me apprehensive about having a wedding of my own. I don't want to be beholden to archaic rituals established by superstitious, out-of-touch, medieval elites.

Yet despite all these factors, I loved every moment of the wedding I attended. I loved the procession, the chaplain's speech, the reception and dinner afterward. The entire spectacle was an amazing celebration of love, family, and friendship. It made me teary-eyed to see two friends commit to each other in the most serious way possible, and to see the joy on their faces as they did it. The venue, the food, and the atmosphere were all phenomenal.

Even more significantly, I realized that the things I dislike about weddings were part of what made it special. The exhibitionism of the wedding made it all the more selfless, because the guests got the privilege to witness an earnest celebration of love. The traditional aspects of the wedding made it all the more meaningful, because the couple were rejoicing in the light of a rich religious and cultural history.

In modern times, with the relentless inauthenticity of social media, the endless babble of consumerism, the shameful discourse of our politics, I often find myself in cynical moods. Everything seems to be an attention-grab, an ironic detachment, a vestigial artifact of history. This wedding reminded me that happiness, love, and celebration can transcend all these impurities. Let's keep celebrating.