Lyrics: Self deprecating rap

Recording

My vision’s so bad it’s two pixels thick, oh wait no that’s the size of my dick. Ever seen a chick run away from a Wei so quick? Straight disappearin’ like a magic trick.
No I’m bein’ real, I got no game, paraplegics shun me cuz I’m too lame. My claim to fame? I got nothin’ to offer, flame in my belly’s like tepid water, committed to fatherhood then abandoned my daughter, parental absence like Harry Potter.
I’m less friendly than the Whomping WIllow, last date I went on was with a body pillow, cuddled up close but I got rejected, always do worse than what’s expected.

Decisions are needed? I’ll be hesitating. if I was a law they’d be abrogating. Tried to man up, started menstruating. Title of this song “Self Deprecating”.

Want to see me quit? You got your wish. I got less spine than a jellyfish. Jumped into the sea, sea spit me out. Poseidon’s like, “Who let this man into my house? I didn’t sign a waiver. Even Mr. Rogers wouldn’t be your neighbor.”
Reached for my backbone, found nothin’ there. If cowardice was cash I’d be a billionaire, if bravery’s silent call me Times Square, or Alpha Centauri cuz I’m full of hot air, and laissez-faire is my worst nightmare cuz the only seat for my derrière is also known as the electric chair.

My reflexes are nothing but vegetative, tried to be cool and self-immolated, flow’s not sick but you’re nauseated, just bein’ real when I self-deprecate it.

“Bag your face, there's something wrong.” Heard that from my doctor, and my mom. Walked up to a mirror, my reflection ran, didn’t stop till it was in Turkmenistan. Go down the street showing my face, and even the blind run like The Amazing Race.
When I leave the club all the people cheering, cuz I’m more of a farce than a supreme court hearing. You heard it right, I’m a total sham. Drywall’s as exciting as my Instagram. Cuz I’m as lively as ‘ a stillborn fetus, when an atheist sees me they turn to Jesus.

I don’t knowing how to conjugate, got no deadline but I’m still late, gene pool’s thankful when I masturbate, just bein’ honest when I self-deprecate.