On Sarcasm

Sarcasm is terrible. Here are four reasons why.

1.) Sarcasm is not clever. Anyone can come up with a sarcastic response, at any time. The formula is so lazy and non-creative, most people master it before their teenage years. This is a reason why sarcasm is popular: you can deploy it instantly and brainlessly. Sarcasm is always at your disposal. But this cheapens its value to the point of worthlessness.

2.) Sarcasm ends conversations. It oozes haughty disdain, which is grueling to engage with. This is another reason why sarcasm is enticing: it is an instant power transfer, wherein the person being sarcastic is able to signal their superiority over their interlocutor through exaggerated insincerity. But an imbalanced power dynamic is not conducive to conversation; it shuts conversation down, leaving only silence.

3.) Sarcasm shuts down intimacy, because it is disingenuous by nature. This is yet another reason why sarcasm is attractive: It allows you to hide your true feelings, without risk of being vulnerable. When you are sarcastic, you never have to say how you truly feel; you rely on coy implication to communicate. But implication is not an effective form of communication -- quite the opposite. Effective communication is clear and detailed, leaving no room for confusion or doubt -- which is literally the definition for explicit. So while effective communication is critical to intimacy, sarcasm is hostile to it. Sarcasm is therefore hostile to one of the most compelling, meaningful aspects of the human experience.

4.) Here's my biggest issue with sarcasm: I can't think of a single situation where it's the best way to communicate something. There's always a funnier comment, a smarter comment, a kinder comment -- but there's also always a more insincere comment, a more hurtful comment, a comment that will end the conversation more effectively. This is a death knell for sarcasm. So when you feel tempted to make a sarcastic comment, challenge yourself to think of something better to say. It will dramatically improve the quality of your conversations.