Saturday, July 29, 2023

Lyrics: Dance and Revel

Video

Verse 1

Let's get it ooon tonight
Never dreamed, I'd be so free to be me tonight
It's all about, the here and now
We're sooo alive

We light it up ' tonight
Liberty, and ecstacy, we buuurn so bright
Live for today, stress melts away
In flaaashing lights

Connector 1

We are on ano'ther level
All we're gonna do is dance and revel

Verse 2

We goin' haaard tonight
So let 'em stare, we'll be dancin' here wei past sunrise
We're on the floor, and we want more
Our heaaart's on fire

Give it your aaall tonight
Don't you dare hold back, let your body track what's real inside
To free your soul, give up control
It feels so right

Connector 2

Liberated from our inhibition
Celebrating life, don't need permission

Bridge

We will siiing
Don't care what we're told
If we're dancing
The stars won't go cold

And we're not scared
to show off who we are
The world's unprepared
Our party will burn out the dark

Cuz we're the staaart
Of somethin' bigger than all of us
We're glitterin', synonymous
With the joy in our hearts and this melody
And the lights and the stage and the rhythm and the beat

Monday, July 17, 2023

Poem: Maybe

Video

Maybe I'm a lodestone.
Maybe I'm powered by the lightning.
Maybe *I* guide the Wei.
Maybe if I were left as my own devices, all-Weis would face true north.
Maybe what I attract reveals me.

Wonder why my modeling career hasn't taken off yet.

Maybe it's cuz I'm an undiscovered diamond in the rough.
Or maybe I'm the rough. Maybe I'm a cow's tongue questing out for saltlick. Maybe I'm the grippy half of Velcro, seeking something soft to snag. Maybe I'm a city's asphalt skeleton. Maybe I'm coarse-grained sand supplicating skin for sanctuary. Maybe I haven't yet been ground to powder. Maybe I'm bench-pressing pestle up from mortar's bottom, and maybe the pressure's *not* too much to bear. Maybe the ones trying to stamp me out are losing.

Or maybe I'm the one who's stamping.
Maybe there's no Wei to grasp the scale of my senseless inner violence. Maybe I'm the planned extermination of a million joyful stories. Maybe I would savor a people's final choking gasp.

Maybe I'm a genocide.

Wait, no, I don't *wanna* be a genocide!
M-maybe I'm a... a sunrise, distracting everyone with pretty colors as I {exhale} blow out the stars.

Maybe I'm a poet.
No, that definitely not right.
I'm more like a toddler's dirty underwear, soiled because the child using me didn't know how to express themself and I just so happened to be the pair their parents paired them with that morning.
Maybe it'll come out in the wash.

Maybe I should drink more water.

Maybe I'm a urinary catheter sucking piss out from the universe, but
Maybe that piss is hatred.

Maybe I tilt the karmic wheel towards kindness. Maybe there's a beatific Brahmin biding by my shadow. Maybe the aforementioned lightning was divinity's crackling hand, flaring me out to glory.

Or maybe I'm not quite there yet. Maybe I'm the distance between those fingertips on the Sistine Chapel ceiling, the fool in every Buddhist fable, the space between the Surahs.

Maybe that's a disappointment.

Maybe music's *not* the space between the notes.
Maybe I'm diving for pearls of wisdom in Nietzsche's famed abyss.
Maybe I'm drowned by my own pretension.
Maybe I'm on the fast-track out to pasture, maybe I'm Uranium-235, maybe I'm that glow you get post-orgasm, maybe I'm cesium keeping time.
Maybe I'm atlatl after atom-bomb, an anachronistic hymn. Maybe I should watch The Royal Tenebaums. Maybe all I all I all I do is win.

Maybe I should steal other people's art and pass it off as my own.

Maybe I already have.

Monday, May 1, 2023

The Sword and the Axe

The invader slashed at Iben with vicious certitude. Iben raised his axe to block.

The axe had been lovingly crafted by Iben's great-grandmother Neref one hundred and two years ago. Its handle boasted an arm-and-a-half's length of shadestone ebony, rare wood prized for its durability and beauty. Neref had felled the tree herself, then treated the wood with precious minerals to amplify its resilience while reducing its weight. Intricate calligraphy wreathed the black haft, chronicling the artisanal skill rich in Iben's ancestry. The result was an implement light as balsa and hard as steel, capable of cutting through a mighty trunk as smoothly as a tailor's shears might glide through paper.

The invader's sword had been forged by a novice coppersmith over four thousand years ago. Its edge bore myriad ugly notches, and those millennia of oxidation had corroded the weapon's outer layer. The result was a sickly blue-green patina deformed by ashen bumps and ridges.

But the invaders' archaeologists* had discovered, laboring in their abominable museums**, that this blade had been shaped for war, and that made all the difference.

* This word can equally mean "engineer".
** Equally "weapons research facility".

The invaders' records of the ancient war had been barren, nothing more than a few strange hieroglyphs scratched on shattered pottery. But years ago, a translation breakthrough revealed a piecemeal story: the sword's coppersmith was from an aggressive empire that had conquered an impressively-large peninsula. Its design carried no trace of passion or beauty -- its sole intent was to subjugate through violence.

It was no surprise to the invader, then, when her sword chopped through Iben's axe handle like a butcher's cleaver through fatty tissue, sundering the ebony with ease. Its momentum barely halted; it continued on through Iben's leather pauldron (made ten years ago to commemorate a memorable hunt -- it enhanced Iben's storytelling, but offered no protection), then his clavicle, biting wickedly though ribcage and lung and spinal column, finally emerging just above the hip. Iben's dying scream squelched out as a choked gurgle.

Iben's daughter Remsa, eight days away and oblivious to the carnage, was busy carving out the handle of a specialty chisel. She felt her hands go clumsy.

Iben's ally Hopet lunged at the invader in wild ambush, spear-point flashing in the sun. But the invader's soft leather boots had been plundered from a centuries-old dancing culture, so it was trivial for the swordswoman to twirl away from the attack, dodging with balletic grace. Abovewater, Hopet's fishing-spear thrust hopelessly slow and missed by a full arm's length. Before Hopet could recover, turquoise-grey copper sliced again, parting head from shoulders.

The invader loosed a guttural shout, half-battlecry, half-chuckle. The ceremonial belt around her waist -- delicate gold with conch-shell buckle, wrought for a long-dead clan's doomherald -- amplified the sound, anointed it with the imperious grip of fear. Wisps of nightmare slithered out from the subconscious minds of the invader's enemies, paralyzing the remaining ten midstride. Another shout, and a ramshackle assortment of bows, daggers, and handsaws clattered to the ground.

Before the invader could exult in victory, her eye caught on Iben's axe. She strode over to it, picked it up, admired its elegance and lightness. A shame it had been damaged -- but no matter, the archaelogists would restore some of its functionality.

"This," she said, waving the axe in front of another tribesman's frozen rictus, ignorant of the language barrier between them. "How old is it? What is it for?"

-----

Story Notes

The inspiration for this short story came from someone I met in a writing group yesterday. Her story takes place in a world where items become more powerful the more they're used for their intended purpose. I absolutely loved the idea!






Friday, April 28, 2023

Nihilist Philosophy in Concorditor Humilia

There is no sound in the world uglier than music.

I would sooner submit to the squealing of a starving infant, the shriek of stone on glass, the squelching of a warrior's intestines than submit my ear to song. No auditory experience is as grotesque, passion-killing, or debased. Yet these plain facts elude us, for our lives are *drenched* in song, from the moment we are born (always crying) to the moment we die (surrounded by others who are crying, if we are lucky). We are immersed in the abomination so we cannot see it, wanderers blinded by a killing-fog.

The most common ontology of music frames it as a "contract". This is pure delusion. A contract is, by definition, an agreement. There is *mutual understanding* in a contract, an *intent* to be bound by terms. Even the most exploitative, labyrinthine contracts nonetheless exist in *some* enforceable space, are *in theory* intelligible.

Music bears no such features. Music is more like *begging*. The first measure of a song is the first measure of an anguished, raving entreaty, a desperate plea for the universe to loosen its grip on our neck, just a little. And though the grip might relax ever so slightly, it never comes close to relief.

So the choir's plight is *worse* than helpless supplication. For the beggar, no matter how destitute, is at least in relationship with another human being when they beg. But the universe is no human. The universe feels no emotion, experiences no beauty, harbors no mercy. The nature of the universe is *evil*, incapable of consideration or intent, much less mutual understanding. From the incessant Firestarting Canon to the vomit-inducing Grappler's Canticle, every chord rings out with desperation. Let us not forget the act of song -- which some have the gall to call "art" -- originated as a means to violence.

Then there is the *act itself*. No act is more soul-crushing and less creative than making music. Music is, at its heart, *repetition*: harmony borne from the same rote spacing, melodies reaped from the same abysmal harvest of frequencies, that infinitesimally small subset again and again and again -- to say nothing of music's underlying *structure*. Measure and time signature are jail cell and prison, with the (aptly-named) key locked inside, preventing all escape.

Endless, monotonous repetition is in music's *bones*. Composition tries to rearrange these bones into something lifelike, but it's as hopeless as breathing life into a skeleton. And what do we *get* after shuffling these identical puzzle pieces around for the millionth time? What awaits us when our throats are raw, lungs gasping? What is our reward for participating in this looping nightmare? We get to wake and do it all again on the morrow.

I say, no thank you. I reject song, reject music. If choir is necessary for our survival, then I proudly choose annihilation. At least, down that path, I'll find *peace* for my aesthetic faculties, my body, and my dignity.

--------

This is philosophy written from the point of view of a nihilist in the world of Concorditor Humilia, which is a game of Microscope I played with a couple friends. The premise of the Microscope game was pretty fun: we'd hit the RANDOM button on TvTropes a bunch of times, and build the resulting chaos into a serious fantasy world.

We got Headlock of Dominance, Finger Poke of Doom, Killer Game Master, and Ominous Latin Chanting, so we envisioned a world where choirs empowered martial artists to duel each other. Two competing traditions, the Grapplers and Strikers (or Headlockers and Finger Pokers), had a bitter rivalry. The universe was an inhospitable, brutal place to live (a Killer Game Master), and could only be persuaded to relax its viciousness by song (Ominous Latin Chanting). Consequently, survival necessitated membership in a choir. I wondered how it might feel to hate that.