I'm lost, I said one fateful day, and wondered where I was.
So I went to go and search for me -- mostly just because.
I found myself on mountain vistas, past frigid, icy streams;
I found myself in English classrooms, amidst poetic themes.
I found myself in cheerful places, laughing to my core;
I found myself in grieving places, silent as the morgue.
I found myself in romantic places, dancing, getting kissed;
I found myself in craven places, filled with cowardice.
I'm lost, I told myself, desperate to be found;
Will I find my soul in Heaven? Or deep beneath the ground?
I found myself in tranquil moments, in the quiet of my mind;
I found myself in awkward moments, when the quiet was not so kind.
I found myself in triumphant moments, victorious, adored;
I found myself in lifeless moments, doing nothing, getting bored.
I found myself in wondrous moments, amazed at beauty's grace;
I found myself in filthy moments, in perversion's cold embrace.
Will I ever find myself? I pondered hopelessly.
I was there in all those moments, but was it truly me?
I found myself with kindness, performing selfless acts;
I found myself with treach'ry, breaking sacred pacts.
I found myself with patience, never wearing thin;
I found myself with turmoil, a raging storm within.
I found myself with passion, glowing in my eyes;
I found myself with shame, which I've managed to disguise.
And then I knew the answer, succeeded in my quest;
I found myself at last, at last! -- and I laid the matter to rest.
Where am I really? I asked myself, searching everywhere;
And found myself in all those places -- for I was always there.
I was never lost at all, you see. The hunt was all a sham.
Where I look, I find me. And that is where I am.
Monday, June 25, 2018
Saturday, June 2, 2018
Becoming happier, Part 2
Part 1
Rewiring #4: Random act of kindness
Research shows that being kind to other people is one of the things that makes us happiest, and that result fills me with joy. We are lucky to live in a universe where making other people happy is to our own benefit.
The non-zero-sum nature of well-being is why the concept of karma makes sense, broadly speaking. Suffering creatures are more likely to make other creatures suffer; happy creatures are more likely to make other creatures happy. Consequently, the more suffering you generate, the more likely you are to suffer; the more happiness you generate, the more happy you become.
I, along with ~10 other students, teamed up to give one of our favorite professors an end-of-semester gift. The gift referenced an idiosyncratic turn of phrase he often used in class, which was fun, but what was even more fun was the heartfelt note I wrote to go with it. The note included a collection of his best in-class quotations and some words of thanks, and even though it was painfully slow to pen the entire thing in cursive, I still had an marvelous time writing it.
I started volunteer at CU's Restorative Justice center. Restorative justice is different from our national model of retributive justice in many respects: while the latter is solely concerned with punishing the offender, a restorative system focuses on the victim of an incident, and repairing the harms done thereto. Victim satisfaction should be one of the main goals of any justice system, and it's a big reason why I support restorative justice. It feels good to volunteer my time toward something I believe in. A couple offenders I've worked with have even thanked me personally for my involvement, and their comments remain deeply gratifying.
After listening to this podcast, I donate monthly to the Against Malaria Foundation. The facts of malaria are astonishing. Malaria is one of the top killers of humanity, with one estimate saying it has killed half the people who have ever lived, most of whom are children. The worst part of this statistic is that malaria is preventable, treatable, and curable. According to this Unicef article, our best treatment is artemisinin-based combination therapy (ACT), which costs an absurdly low $2.50 for a single adult treatment dose. A mosquito net will prevent an entire family from contracting the disease for the even cheaper price of $2.00. (As a point of comparison, Lindsay Graham spent $1013.74 per vote he received in the 2016 Republican primary.) As such, the dollar-to-lives-saved ratio is extremely high when donating to the Against Malaria Foundation. The podcast I mentioned frames it like this: If you ran into a burning building and saved a child's life, that moment would be a crowning achievement in your life. You would receive immense social validation and personal pride at performing such an act, and you would deserve it. Donating $10 per month to malaria-related causes is like that, except you are saving multiple children, every month, and instead of taking on extreme danger and permanent lung damage, you're sacrificing the monetary equivalent of two cups of coffee.
Rewiring #5: Make a social connection
A fact I learned in the course: People usually think talking to a stranger on the bus will be a miserable experience, but when they actually do it, they change their mind. Social interaction is core to our biology and our evolutionary history; in this sense, it's comparable to amazing sex, or a delicious meal.
I spent ~20 minutes talking to a homeless man after buying him some food. I showed him a few card tricks, and he taught me how to vanish a cigarette. It felt thrilling and intrigue-laden, like two magicians swapping secrets. He also told me about his time in the Iraq war, his experience being homeless, and his aspirations to find work, and I told him about my experience as an immigrant and a college student. The only complaint I have about this interaction is that it was too short.
A couple friends from high school and I started a book club. The book we chose was Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, a fantasy heist novel. I'm a huge fan of the heist genre, but I've only ever seen it in movies (Ocean's Eleven, The Sting, Inception). Reading a heist book is fun; discussing a heist book with smart people is even more fun.
On a recent vacation with some close friends, I stayed up to 4am dancing on the beach and gazing at the stars. The vast ocean and the endless cosmos, in all their grandeur, were still outshone by our revelry in each other's company, our quiet conversations on the sand. Our love for one another rang out in our words, in our silences, in our movements, in our stillnesses. No one could do wrong that night; it was, in a profound Wei, perfect.
Rewiring #6: Meditation
I've already practiced mindfulness meditation daily for over a year, so this rewiring was really just a regular old wiring.
One of the most enjoyable things in life is to witness skill: superhuman athleticism, flawless musicanship, artful deception. We like these things because they are flashy, complicated, rococo, but we often miss the deep mastery of the fundamentals underpinning all such displays. The older I become, the more I come to appreciate the importance of fundamentals. Champion basketball players can bust out ankle-breaking outplays because they don't stop practicing basic footwork drills; virtuoso pianists can bust out finger-breaking melodies because they don't stop practicing basic scales. We often don't think about the almost insane* amount of time these performers have invested into their technique, and we think even less about how much of this time goes into practicing fundamentals -- even when the performer is world-class.
Meditation is practicing the fundamentals of human life. Breathing, sitting, being present: These are the skills meditation teaches you to master, and one consequence of mastering these fundamentals is personal gratification. This gratification is the equivalent of the basketballer's ankle-breaker that comes after countless hours doing footwork drills.
There is nothing more fundamental than the breath. When you reach for it, it is there, a persistent, gentle reminder of the present moment, always by your side. People often think of meditation as an esoteric, difficult act, but as Tibetan meditation master Mingyur Rinpoche explains in this video, meditation is simple. It starts and ends with the breath. I love that video because it captures the elegance of meditation and makes the practice accessible for everyone.
Meditation has made me happier for many reasons. I am less prone to anger, anxiety, sadness, annoyance, and any number of other negative emotions, because mindfulness is anathema to suffering. Negativity withers in the presence of attention. And in addition to shedding these negative emotions, I have also gained positive ones. After practicing mindfulness, I find myself calmer, more focused, more at peace. I feel more self-loving and self-compassionate, and I've also become more receptive to the love and kindness of others.
Another Mingyur Rinpoche quote: "The only difference between meditation and regular social interaction is that the friend you're gradually coming to know is yourself."
Conclusion
I enjoyed these rewirings even more than the previous set. Everyone should practice kindness, social interaction, and meditation. This blog post was my attempt at communicating that to you. I hope it worked.
*Mastery is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Rewiring #4: Random act of kindness
Research shows that being kind to other people is one of the things that makes us happiest, and that result fills me with joy. We are lucky to live in a universe where making other people happy is to our own benefit.
The non-zero-sum nature of well-being is why the concept of karma makes sense, broadly speaking. Suffering creatures are more likely to make other creatures suffer; happy creatures are more likely to make other creatures happy. Consequently, the more suffering you generate, the more likely you are to suffer; the more happiness you generate, the more happy you become.
I, along with ~10 other students, teamed up to give one of our favorite professors an end-of-semester gift. The gift referenced an idiosyncratic turn of phrase he often used in class, which was fun, but what was even more fun was the heartfelt note I wrote to go with it. The note included a collection of his best in-class quotations and some words of thanks, and even though it was painfully slow to pen the entire thing in cursive, I still had an marvelous time writing it.
I started volunteer at CU's Restorative Justice center. Restorative justice is different from our national model of retributive justice in many respects: while the latter is solely concerned with punishing the offender, a restorative system focuses on the victim of an incident, and repairing the harms done thereto. Victim satisfaction should be one of the main goals of any justice system, and it's a big reason why I support restorative justice. It feels good to volunteer my time toward something I believe in. A couple offenders I've worked with have even thanked me personally for my involvement, and their comments remain deeply gratifying.
After listening to this podcast, I donate monthly to the Against Malaria Foundation. The facts of malaria are astonishing. Malaria is one of the top killers of humanity, with one estimate saying it has killed half the people who have ever lived, most of whom are children. The worst part of this statistic is that malaria is preventable, treatable, and curable. According to this Unicef article, our best treatment is artemisinin-based combination therapy (ACT), which costs an absurdly low $2.50 for a single adult treatment dose. A mosquito net will prevent an entire family from contracting the disease for the even cheaper price of $2.00. (As a point of comparison, Lindsay Graham spent $1013.74 per vote he received in the 2016 Republican primary.) As such, the dollar-to-lives-saved ratio is extremely high when donating to the Against Malaria Foundation. The podcast I mentioned frames it like this: If you ran into a burning building and saved a child's life, that moment would be a crowning achievement in your life. You would receive immense social validation and personal pride at performing such an act, and you would deserve it. Donating $10 per month to malaria-related causes is like that, except you are saving multiple children, every month, and instead of taking on extreme danger and permanent lung damage, you're sacrificing the monetary equivalent of two cups of coffee.
Rewiring #5: Make a social connection
A fact I learned in the course: People usually think talking to a stranger on the bus will be a miserable experience, but when they actually do it, they change their mind. Social interaction is core to our biology and our evolutionary history; in this sense, it's comparable to amazing sex, or a delicious meal.
I spent ~20 minutes talking to a homeless man after buying him some food. I showed him a few card tricks, and he taught me how to vanish a cigarette. It felt thrilling and intrigue-laden, like two magicians swapping secrets. He also told me about his time in the Iraq war, his experience being homeless, and his aspirations to find work, and I told him about my experience as an immigrant and a college student. The only complaint I have about this interaction is that it was too short.
A couple friends from high school and I started a book club. The book we chose was Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, a fantasy heist novel. I'm a huge fan of the heist genre, but I've only ever seen it in movies (Ocean's Eleven, The Sting, Inception). Reading a heist book is fun; discussing a heist book with smart people is even more fun.
On a recent vacation with some close friends, I stayed up to 4am dancing on the beach and gazing at the stars. The vast ocean and the endless cosmos, in all their grandeur, were still outshone by our revelry in each other's company, our quiet conversations on the sand. Our love for one another rang out in our words, in our silences, in our movements, in our stillnesses. No one could do wrong that night; it was, in a profound Wei, perfect.
Rewiring #6: Meditation
I've already practiced mindfulness meditation daily for over a year, so this rewiring was really just a regular old wiring.
One of the most enjoyable things in life is to witness skill: superhuman athleticism, flawless musicanship, artful deception. We like these things because they are flashy, complicated, rococo, but we often miss the deep mastery of the fundamentals underpinning all such displays. The older I become, the more I come to appreciate the importance of fundamentals. Champion basketball players can bust out ankle-breaking outplays because they don't stop practicing basic footwork drills; virtuoso pianists can bust out finger-breaking melodies because they don't stop practicing basic scales. We often don't think about the almost insane* amount of time these performers have invested into their technique, and we think even less about how much of this time goes into practicing fundamentals -- even when the performer is world-class.
Meditation is practicing the fundamentals of human life. Breathing, sitting, being present: These are the skills meditation teaches you to master, and one consequence of mastering these fundamentals is personal gratification. This gratification is the equivalent of the basketballer's ankle-breaker that comes after countless hours doing footwork drills.
There is nothing more fundamental than the breath. When you reach for it, it is there, a persistent, gentle reminder of the present moment, always by your side. People often think of meditation as an esoteric, difficult act, but as Tibetan meditation master Mingyur Rinpoche explains in this video, meditation is simple. It starts and ends with the breath. I love that video because it captures the elegance of meditation and makes the practice accessible for everyone.
Meditation has made me happier for many reasons. I am less prone to anger, anxiety, sadness, annoyance, and any number of other negative emotions, because mindfulness is anathema to suffering. Negativity withers in the presence of attention. And in addition to shedding these negative emotions, I have also gained positive ones. After practicing mindfulness, I find myself calmer, more focused, more at peace. I feel more self-loving and self-compassionate, and I've also become more receptive to the love and kindness of others.
Another Mingyur Rinpoche quote: "The only difference between meditation and regular social interaction is that the friend you're gradually coming to know is yourself."
Conclusion
I enjoyed these rewirings even more than the previous set. Everyone should practice kindness, social interaction, and meditation. This blog post was my attempt at communicating that to you. I hope it worked.
*Mastery is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
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